weekend wrap up
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nightly ritual

i'm not sure when it started.

some time after muscle barbie moved into the dorms.

about january 2012, i guess.

she and i started a good night ritual.

it started off as just a text good night.

and it wasn't always every night.

but was most nights.

i guess cuz i missed her.

even though she was only 30 minutes away.

she was no longer 30 paces from my bedroom.

after a lifetime of having them underfoot, shuttling to and from school and events and friend's houses and movies...you kinda miss not being needed.

who knew?

i wasn't prepared.

anywho...we continued our half hearted attempts at keeping in touch at bedtime.

then she moved into her own apartment!

{gasp}

and things changed a little bit more.

i mean, there were no roommates...no matter how annoying...she was on her own.

and we were still 30 minutes away.

so it became more important to stick with our goodnight ritual.

so it started as a text message that said

{good night...i love you}

and her response would be similar.

then it expanded to

{good night. love you to the moon and back}

and then she added

{to infinity and beyond, forever and ever}

so now my text goes like this

{love you to the moon and back. to infinity and beyond. forever and ever. text me when you get up, sweetheart!❌⭕️❤️😘🌮}

the last three are a heart, a kissy face, and a taco.

so, of course, she had to up her to game to respond:

{i love you more}

ok, parents, we've all played candyland. we've all let our kids win. because that's what we do, right?

so, my response has to be

{of course you do}

because i used to try to argue with her and there was no winning this argument.

until

oh yes, i played the ultimate card, gentle reader!

{of course you do, because you knew me before i knew you}

whoa...pretty deep, right?

in case you don't get it, i'll explain my thought process here, ok?

i'll let her love me more because she knew me before i knew her.

how, you ask?

she heard my heartbeat before i heard hers.

she knew me before i knew i was pregnant.

total game changer.

so many people say that a parent will always love their child more and will always need their child more...than a child will love or need their parent.

i don't think that's true.

i really don't think there is a winner here.

unless both parties are equal winners.

but we won't tell that to muscle barbie, ok? it will be our little secret. i'll keep letting her think she loves me more.

it's our nightly ritual, after all.

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i am grateful:

  • for our nightly ritual
  • our daughter likes to play along with my nightly ritual
  • that she likes to add to our nightly ritual
  • she enjoys our nightly ritual
  • she doesn't think it's weird

just breathing isn't living!

sincerely,

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