fran lebowitz said...
a friend lost

tragedy strikes

this time right here in the city.

this time was too close to home.

this time was just as tragic as any other time.

this time a 17 year old boy shot his school principle, injuring him and leaving him in serious but stable condition. this 17 year old boy also shot his assistant vice principle and ultimately killed her. this 17 year old boy then turned the gun on himself and ended his barely started life.

there are many things wrong with this picture.

first of all, it really bugs me when anyone is senselessly killed. it also really bugs me to hear of someone taking their own life when there are so many who would give anything to have one more day. i don't get that and i know i'm not the only one.

i'm not going to point fingers or lay blame. i have no idea what the personal situation was here. i have no idea what kind of family dynamics were going on, had gone on.

but i will say this:

parents, you need to be a parent. you chose to bring a child into this world so it then becomes your responsibility to nurture this child. sometimes this means giving up "your" time. sometimes it means not doing the things you want to do in order to do the things you have to do. parents, you need to listen to your children. it doesn't matter that what they are telling you seems trivial in the whole scheme of life. right now, it's what's important to your child and that should be enough for it to be important to you. believe me, there are times when teenager is rattling off about her day and i find my mind wondering to uncompleted tasks hanging over my head but then i bring myself back to her. and sometimes i have to suck it up and ask some questions to clarify what she said while i left the planet. she knows. she gets disgusted that she has to repeat but at least i am showing her the courtesy of listening to what is so important in her life right now.

all i am saying is that when you are with your kids, you need to be present. you need to be there 100%. put the freaking phone down, shut off the internet and tv. let the machine answer the phone. give your kids some undivided attention. when was the last time you did that?

have you seen this commercial? where the dad is playing catch with his son while checking his cell phone? and then the son knocks his dad in the head with the baseball? the same one where the gal is dressed all sexy and her man is in bed with his phone, ignoring her? ya, that one. unfortunately, that has become the norm rather than the exception.

let's take a pledge right now to make that the exception rather than the rule in our families.

remember, your teenager isn't going to tell you everything. some of them tell you nothing. we are blessed to have a teenager that tells ALOT. i am so thankful for that. however, when things are really tough for her, she isn't so forthright in talking about what's going on. this is where, as a parent, you need to be in tune to the moods of your children. you need to know what's normal and what isn't when it comes to their moods and behaviors. that also means you may have to step out of your comfort zone and approach your child about these changes. you may make your child angry about prying but guess what? it's your job! if you don't protect your kid, who will?

it comes down to this, just pay attention. give attention. be engaged.

so many lives have been disrupted by this event. so many questions left to never be answered.

hug your kids a little tighter tonight. hug your kids a little longer tonight. make sure your kids KNOW you love them tonight.

i am grateful:

  • teenager is safe
  • for the communication we have with teenager
  • my little bro is ok
  • my father in law is ok
  • for the texts kiroman sent me while i was out of town

just breathing isn't living!

sincerely,

Trophy wife signature

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