i forgive you.
not for you.
i do it for me.
i do it for the peace it brings me.
i do it for the closure i receive.
i do it to let it go.
i forgive you because i now understand that.
i understand that forgiving you allows me to move forward.
i understand that it allows me to be free of the chains that were holding me back.
forgiveness is not always easy. but it is always right.
sometimes it just takes me a little longer to get there.
but kiroman pounded, and i mean pounded, into my head last night. i didn't want to listen to him. i didn't want him to be right. i wanted to wallow in my anger. i wanted to feel justified in my anger. i wanted to be right. i know he said it all out of love for me. i know he knows what i've been feeling and going through. i know he cares enough to call me on my own crap. i know he only wants what is best for me. but i didn't want to listen to it last night.
although last night i was not really open to listening to him. but i heard him.
and i slept on it.
and this morning.
i'm not being altruistic here. because the main thing i understood from kiroman's not so gentle chastising last night is this:
i am forgiving you because i understand now that you don't get it yet. i understand that my thoughts and actions are never going to change who you are until you are ready to change.
i don't think that's putting a condition on my forgiveness of you. i truly feel that is part of why i want to forgive you.
my energy is better served in a more positive manner. my energy is better served by helping those who are ready and willing to accept my help.
and therefore, i forgive you your actions because you don't know what you don't know yet.
i have faith, that in time, you will understand and figure out what you don't know now.
i have faith.
if we are facebook friends, then you have seen me post this a few times already. it was created by the wonderful and generous melody ross. she is the founder of the brave girls club. i've been following her blog since it began. i have followed her journey. i am a ginormous fan! but when she posted this. my heart wept. truly, it did.
i am grateful:
- for the power of forgiveness
- the maids were here today!!!
- it's a bright bright sun shiney day
- kiroman is enjoying his time of the golf course
- for clean drinking water
just breathing isn't living!