that's what's going on right now with trophy wife.
my mama taught me that it's better to say nothing if i can't say anything nice.
it works most of the time.
sometimes i have to set my filter on high and it has to work over time.
so that's why there has been silence on the ol' blog.
every post i have written the last few days just doesn't seem appropriate to post.
i'm not an angry person.
i never kick a dog just because something didn't go my way.
but i am dealing with people that are doing just that.
i'm having a hard time understanding these kinds of people.
people that put the blame on everyone else and take no responsibility for their own actions.
one thing i do know...if someone else is always taking the responsibility for your actions - instead you, yourself- you are not going to grow...you will continue to be the same person you are right now.
we have always taught teenager to take responsibility for her own actions...there is no room for the blame game.
if your actions have caused a reaction you do not like, it's time to sit back and reflect upon your own actions, right?
and sometimes it's painful to reflect on your own part of a situation. i have spent a lot of time in reflection.
weighing my actions against those who feel i have wronged them.
i'm not saying i'm right and they are wrong.
i am saying we each had a part in what happened.
drives me crazy that someone feels they can go off and be negative about me or kiroman in a public platform, such as facebook, and then feel i don't have the right to react or defend. and when i do, they feel they have been wronged.
that means the door is only swinging one way and real life does not work like that. every door that opens, also closes.
i left high school a long time ago. i'm not a game player. and i abhor being dragged into someone else's game.
i am independent enough to choose who i spend my time. i do not need corroboration from anyone in order to innately know who is good to be around and who isn't. i choose to spend my time with relationships that are healthy and supportive of each other. where there is fair value exchanged. not relationships that suck the energy out of me.
if you don't fit that mold, then my doorman will be excusing you from my life.
life isn't fair. life will never be fair. get over that mentality, if it's one you carry.
i know it. and i'm not crying foul here.
i'm just saying that i don't understand how someone can be so mean and evil and then ask why you have removed them from your life. and demand to know what actions have led me to this decision.
are they so delusional that they have forgotten the hurtful words they have said and written?
do you really think i am so weak that you can continue to hate on me and feel no consequences for those actions?
i have more self worth and self respect to let that continue.
i have never had the need to have people like me. i do not change who i am at any point in time. what you see is what you get.
i feel being a chameleon is too time consuming. how in the world do you ever remember who you are supposed to be when? so i am just who i am all the time.
there is nothing fake about me. there is nothing selfish about me. i am about as transparent as they come.
teenager said it so well, "the guilty ones always think you are talking about them."
i've been told that my blog content is hurtful.
hmmm...i say...is that why i receive comments on every single post...how someone is experiencing something similar and my post really helped them? is that why i have cultivated so many friendships? because they found my blog from a friend of a friend sort of thing? is that why when i don't post, i have tons of emails asking where my posts are?
all i'm doing here is sharing my life experiences. i know i'm not the only one living through these things. i am just hoping that someone can learn from my mistakes.
and you know? by your comments to me, wonderful readers, i know i'm doing a good job here!
tomorrow it will be back to regularly scheduled programming.
thank you for listening to me be an eeyore today.
someone once said, what doesn't kill me, makes me stronger!
the way this is going, i will be a power lifter by the end of the year!
i love you all!
i am grateful:
- to have the plate number of the bus that ran me over
- to have the courage to stand up for myself without proclaiming victim status
- to know the difference between right and wrong - thanks mom and dad!
- to know i live with integrity
- for the ability to live boldly
just breathing isn't living!