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sleepless in oklahoma city

holy guacamole, people!

i know it was new year's eve and all but the night we had last night at the hotel was off the charts ridiculous.


teenager and i went with the rest of "camp" [slang term for the other people that ride in our barn] to earl's rib palace downtown. great atmosphere. awesome food. after dinner, we stopped by the ice cream place and just about everyone but me got some ice cream with all kinds of stuff mixed in. then we headed back to the barn to put the horses to bed for the night.

teenager and i headed back to the hotel with a minor stop by the convenient store for some snacks:

Snacksand honestly, i don't want to hear any crap about the sugar the blah blah blah...wanna know why?

tangent: this kid hung out with me in our hotel room. she wasn't out partying. she wasn't out drinking. she wasn't out puking her guts out. she wasn't killing off precious brain cells. and i know there are people reading this blog that will totally disagree with her snacks and sugar. i know there are people that swear they never drink soda. they never eat  high fructose corn syrup. they never eat processed foods. but guess what? i know most these same people imbibe in alcohol and seriously kill of their brain no pointing fingers here, k? if letting her have the soda, candy bars, cookies kept her home, not partying or jumping in bed with some guy...then i'm really ok with it. oh...and she was off the streets and in no danger of being killed by a drunk driver or worse yet, being the drunk driver herself. i sincerely hope none of you drove buzzed new year's eve night!

at about 1am, i asked teenager to shut off the tv and turn off the lights. we were enjoying ourselves in the land of nod when all of a sudden there was utter pandemonium in the hallway.

it was loud enough to wake the teenager...and that's pretty bad!

teenager jumped outta bed, went to the door, slammed it open - yes, it's possible to slam open a door! - and told the group of revelers to shut up because they woke her up.

some smart ass replied with happy new year and some other jerk told her to take her ass back to bed.

surprisingly, teenager closed the door and returned to bed.

the noise never stopped and it seemed like the party remained in the hallway rather staying in the room. so i called the front desk and told them they had a problem up here and it needed to be taken care of immediately as we had to get very early. i was told someone was on the way up to take care of it.

never happened.

the partying continued so i called the front desk again and told jason that there had to be some sort of reciprocation. i am paying him for my room and i expected to be able to sleep through the night. and if he couldn't get it taken care of, i would simply call the police and have them haul everyone out of the room.

once again, he told me someone was taking care of it.

the yelling got so bad, that i got up, opened my door to find two ho's sitting on the floor, against the wall to our room...i told them to shut the eff up and go back to the room they were supposed to be. that's when ho number 1 got all up in my face, telling me that i can't tell her what to do.


you just said that to me?


and when i turned back around, there was ghetto man...two inches from my face, trying to be intimidating...oh he totally got the eff off look and backed off. and then some guy came out of the room and tried to calm them all down. i told him to get these people back in his room and to quiet down or i was calling the cops.

they all panicked and literally begged me not to call the cops.

one more call to the front desk.

and then, i dialed 9-1-1. but hung up after the second ring...stupid, i know.

and then someone from the front desk finally came upstairs. and the revelers became even more loud.

and that's when i slammed the door open again! front desk lady came over to me and i told her, with the finger shaking in her face - and you know that's a bad thing - to get these people out of here, shut them or call the cops. i told her that i was not going to pay for that night. that the whole situation was out of control and ridiculous.

she offered to move us to another room...ummmm, let me think about it? i've been here 2.5 nights already...going to be here for another 3, these idiots are here for one freaking night and you want to move me? holy mother of guacamole! i told her no way. just shut these idiots up! then she wanted me and teenager to go down to the other end of the hallway and sleep in a room where her daughter was! are you kidding me? is this really happening right now?

i told her no, you stop this party now or bring in the cops. and i am not paying for this night. she ignored me every time i told her that. finally, after about the5th time, she agreed that i would not be charged for the night.

i slammed the door shut this time and went back to bed.

after a few minutes, i noticed the sounds of silence. ahhhhhhhhh...drifting off to sleep now...

and then there was a knock on the door followed by front desk.

teenager says mom, that's our door!

so i got up, looked through the peep hole, saw it was front desk lady and opened the door to find ho number 3 standing with her.

front desk explains that the situation is taken care of and everyone is gone except for the people that are supposed to be in the room. and then ho starts telling me how sorry she is and she didn't mean for it to be a wild night for her...umm...for you? i say. i point at teenager, who is standing behind me...what about her? we travel all over this country so she can show her very awesome horse and we've lost a night's sleep and she's going to be tired for her class on sunday because of your stupidity.

she started all up in my face again but front desk told her to be quiet.

i said one more time, with finger pointing that i was not going to pay for this night and told ho that she needed to pay for it because it wasn't fair for the hotel to lose out because she brought the bar home with her. and once again front desk told me that i would not have to pay for the night.

i just turned and slammed the door in their face.

i know, not very mature. but hello? we had to be up early. we weren't able to sleep off our hangover until check out time.

it was well past 4 before i was able to calm down enough to get back to sleep.

i texted kiroman and asked him to call me at 6:30am so i wouldn't miss my alarm...told him very briefly what happened and that all was well now and i'd fill him in.

he called at 6:30am and we were up on time!

so after my shower and while teenager was getting ready, i headed to the front desk to make sure the night was comped.

same lady at the desk. i told her, i want to take care of last night as i won't have time when we check out on tuesday.

she told me she couldn't do it.

whoa, wait. what? you told me last night that my night would be comped because of the drunks.

she said she did not have the authority to do anything and that i would have to talk with the general manager.

ok, and when does he come in?

not til monday between 7 and 8am sometime

his name is lucky!

seriously...l u c k y

a grown man, running a hotel goes by lucky.

gimme a break here, please.

umm, last night, you agreed that i would not have to pay for my room and now you are telling me you can't take care of it?

front desk tells me that it's up to whatever deal lucky and i make on monday!

you've got to be kidding me!

listen, that's not what you told me last night when i had to deal with all that crap in the hallway and losing a night of sleep over your ineptness at taking care of the situation.

i just shook my head at her.

oh yeah, the elevator has been urinated in.

she didn't believe me.

yes it has. it smells like an alley. she tells me she was on it at 6:30am and it was fine.

i gaped at her! no way it could have been fine at 6:30am...i'm sure the pee was from the idiots from the night before.

she told me no one else had complained but she would have the maids clean it up.

i also offered my never to be humble opinion. i suggested that she get her team together for a training for this specific type of problem. they needed to have a play book on how to handle it more efficiently next time.

front desk told me that it was only 45 minutes from the time she was notified until the people were removed from the property. and i told her that 45 minutes was too long.

she told me that they had to give them opportunity to quiet down first.

really? when there are 20 people packed into a room meant for 4. on new year's eve. and they are all drunk.

and ho's wearing grills.

seriously. that's what i'm dealing with here. like they were some rap posse hanging out hie!!!!!

i then told her that i can appreciate the thought process that prompted her to knock on my door 15 minutes later to have ho apologize...which she said was not her idea, but the ho herself wanted to apologize...i said, that probably wasn't the smartest or wisest thing to you knew i was already angry and then you got me out of bed to let me know something i had already figured out by the silence on our floor.

i went back upstairs and waited for teenager to finish.

and that's when teenager pointed this little sign out to me that was in our bathroom:

it looks like, in their own words, i will not be paying for that night now, will i?

about 30 minutes later we headed out.

teenager dry heaved all the way to the first floor...that's how bad the urine smell was and it had not been cleaned.

ummm, folks this is not the quarters inn. this is not some fly by night motel chain.

we are at the holiday inn express in oklahoma city on meridian...right near the airport and the fairgrounds.

i will not be back here next year.

and when we came back tonight...about 8pm...the urine smell was mostly gone but the pee splatters on the elevator wall...still huh?

i am grateful:

  • the ho's didn't shoot me when i was yelling at them
  • the ho didn't throw her grill at me when she got all up in my face
  • i kept y cool enough to not punch out one of these idiots...not sure where that filter came from
  • for kiroman listening to me whine about his whole ordeal
  • teenager made it through her day without a nap!

just breathing isn't living!


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