heavy hearts today
the purpose of life is not to be happy

you're braver than you believe


1gentle reader, i had the most amazing convo with the girl. she is approaching her 21st birthday! what? how the eff does that happen, i ask myself. there is no way i am old enough to have a daughter approaching her 21st bd...no way, never, nuh uh uh. anyways, i digress...we have a few trips coming up and the girl needed the dates to take to work. one of these trips is very close to her bd. she talked to her boss about taking her bd off and still be able to go on the trip the following weekend. boss was fine with it. but here's the thing that amazed me: the girl wanted the time off so she could go to dinner with kiroman and me [ and most likely dillon ]. she didn't want the time off to go to the bars. she didn't want the time off to get hammered with her friends. she wanted the time off to follow family tradition of hitting our favorite steak house downtown for birthdays and anniversaries. it warmed my heart to hear her say that! i'm friends on facebook with many of her friends. i see them planning their 21st birthdays. i see what they do. i'm not judging. i'm not condoning. it is what it is. our society has put such an emphasis on drinking that it's almost normal for these kids to plan their 21sts this way. i get that. i just wanted to brag on the girl a bit because she is choosing to spend it with people, in a memorable way...not spending her whole next morning puking her guts out and regretting how she spent the night before. bravo to you, daughter, bravo! that is what it takes to be strong and true to yourself and not cave in to what others want and or expect from you. i love that you live your life. i love that kiroman and i do not impose our wants onto you. we are here to guide and give advice. love you to the moon and back. to inifinity and beyond. forever and always!

1asaturday morning i headed to our vet's office to visit brother. it was cold, gentle reader, it was very very very cold!

1abrother was so happy to see me. more likely, he was so happy to see someone that was familiar to him. that was family. they have made a comfy bed for him but how comfortable can he be? hooked up to an iv, not being able to sleep in his own bed, unfamiliar sounds at night, his people aren't there, his brothers and sister aren't there. they miss him. we miss him. he misses us.

1awe made arrangements to visit him sunday afternoon. kiroman, the greatest house/critter sitter in the world and myself...we headed over to spend some time with him. brother had not seen kiroman since friday...he was over the moon to see him! that goes both ways ;) we spent a few minutes talking to the doctor about what's going on here...unfortunately, brother was sick sunday morning...that's not good when he can't keep food down. his labs will be checked again in the morning. after that, we will have a better idea of what the next step is. there really is no way to reverse what is happening. it's more like, how quickly will this progress. how much time do we have left with him? how much quality time...we will do whatever we can...as long as he is comfortable, as long as he is not in pain, as long as his quality of life is great. this is the part that absolutely sucks about having pets. but we certainly love them while they are with us, don't we?

1asaturday night was hockey night! this time it was kiroman, myself and the girl. first intermission shoe shot!

1asecond intermission selfie shot using key cam...if you haven't downloaded it yet, do it! what are you waiting for!

1agentle reader, i am not normally a violent person...really, i'm not. but there is something about a hockey game that truly brings out the need for punching in me! tonight, we were not disappointed! the lancers played the force again [ we played them friday night, too ]. lancers won friday night [ 7th season shut out for our goal tender, bruns ]. the whole game started out a little more physical than the night before. rowe [ #11 for lancers ] and this guy were at it most of the game...at one point, the gloves came off and they duked it out. the girl got some video but it uploaded crappy so i didn't post it. not only did the lancers win the game, rowe took this guy down! now, that's my kinda hockey!

1agentle reader, i once knew a girl that would say "if it's gonna be cold, it might as well, snow. make it worth while to suffer the cold!" that same girl now can not stand the cold, can not stand the thought of snow. and wonders why the eff she lives here. yep, you guessed it...that girl is me. i can't believe i used to like the snow. that we used to spend hours upon hours in the snow. building snow men, walking through the woods with the girl, kiroman and the doolittes, snowmobiling for miles and miles and hours and hours. and then today, when i dragged my tired self outta bed, saw the snow on the ground, i just wanted to crawl back under the covers until april! i'd much rather see that pool cover off, the pool full and the sunshine shining!

i am grateful:

  • to have a great vet that arranged our visit today
  • kiroman will brave the cold to plow our drive and shovel the walks
  • i don't have to do the above!
  • to sit by the fire with my electronics for the afternoon
  • for spending the day with kiroman

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