gentle reader, the holidays are barreling down on us. in just a few short hours the merriment shall commence. and for some of us, it already has, right?

even though this is supposed to be a time filled with joy, love, hope, and contentment...many of us are just the opposite. we're stressed, we're depressed, and we are hanging on by a thread.

christmas time was always a joyous and happy occasion for me.

growing up, we always looked forward to decorating the tree, watching prettily wrapped presents appear under the tree...grabbing those with our own name on them and shaking them, smelling them, trying to figure out what was inside each one.

then i got married. and i learned to melt my family traditions with those of my husband and his family. i think we did a pretty great job of that. we learned to split our time between three family get togethers. and we got it done.

then kiroman and i had our own little muscle barbie and traditions changed yet again.

growing up, my parents had a hard and fast rule: they went no where on christmas day. anyone and everyone was welcomed into our home for dinner but my parents made sure that we were able to spend christmas day in our own house, with our toys.

and that was freaking awesome.

and that was one tradition i wanted to make sure was brought into our small family.

and we did.

then it evolved into my family coming to our house for christmas. and we had a houseful. and we had chaos. and we had lots of torn wrapping paper to shove into gigantic garbage bags. and we had fun.

and then things changed again. so a few year ago kirofamily decided to skip town for the holidays. and it was fun. and i felt we had started a whole new tradition. i thought i would miss being home for christmas more than i did. we had a lot of fun. and the stress of the holidays was lifted away. the next year we were home for christmas and gone for new years. and at first, we thought we would flip flop each year. being on the beach on new year's eve and watching the fireworks and toasting the new year with champagne to all of our new found beach friends was awesome. but we were already scheduled to be gone for christmas the following year. and comparing vacationing during christmas versus new year's...there was no comparison. and the decision was then made to celebrate new year's eve at our home away from home.

and i just kinda got taken away on a tangent i had no intention of visiting. yet, here i am. wondering how i am going to get back to the point i had in mind when i sat down to write tonight.

so i'm going to take the liberty of swinging a hard right turn right now so please hold on!

here we go!

my point is, without going into detail: family dynamics can change over time. sometimes for the better and sometimes maybe not. but the important thing to know is this:

you can not choose who you are related to but you sure af { slang for as f&%k) can decide who your family is. and just because you are related to any particular person does not mean you have to spend any time at all with them.

i have learned this over the last few years. it's not easy. but i have come to terms with it. and i know i am better for the choices i have made when it comes to whom i spend my time.

which actually brings us back full circle.

the holidays are on top of us. some of us are joyous, content, and celebrating. others of us are sad, depressed, stressed, and wondering how we are going to get it all done. 

be kind to one another...especially during this time. not everyone has something joyous to celebrate today.

not being a debbie downer but a realist.

someone lost a loved one today. someone was diagnosed with a life ending disease. a wife lost a husband. a husband lost a wife. children lost a parent. a parent lost a child. a house burned down. a chrished pet was put to rest. fraud cleaned out a neighbor's bank account. maybe you even went to bed angry last night.

any day you wake up is a good day. and a day to be cherished. because tomorrow is not promised to anyone. 

take three seconds to smile and actually say hello to a stranger. you'll be amazed at the reaction you receive and i bet you will be amazed at how awesome you feel inside after.

just because it's the holidays does not mean that everyone is in a celebratory mood. if we are all being honest here, i would say the majority of us are faking it until about january 10th.

i am grateful:

• for the time i can spend with those that mean the most to me
• for those that make time to spend time with me
• for finding comfort in the knowledge that we can't choose who we are related to but we can choose those we call family
• for finding peace during this fast paced season
• for joy

just breathing isn't living!

sincerely,