gentle reader,

we are putting another thanksgiving weekend behind us. another year of celebrating our thanks. another year of gathering around the family table for a feast with family and friends. another year of reflecting for which we owe gratitude.

in our house this year, we put another first behind us.

the first year since 1993 that my mom's husband was not at the table.

oh, there was the one year they went elsewhere.

and then there was the year the ice was so bad, they couldn't make it to our house.

but this year was different.

we lost brad in february this year. suddenly and painfully.

this is the first i have written about it as it really isn't my story to tell.

but thanksgiving is.

because dinner is at our house. 

every year.

without fail.

this year of firsts is never easy.

we've been through it before...starting in september 1991.

we experienced a year of firsts without my dad.

it never gets any easier.

it only becomes different.

i have an interesting family.

we tend to leave a lot unspoken.

surprised?

we all knew who was missing and why.

we all knew how painful it was to us and could only guess how painful it was to anyone else.

i've reflected a lot this holiday weekend.

i am so incredibly grateful for every single day i am able to open my eyes and tackle another day. i am so incredibly grateful for every day i have with my family and friends...my tribe.

my. tribe.

for all of you that are missing loved ones this holiday season, i won't hazard to guess at your pain but i do know my own.

cheers to you, for carrying on.

because i know in my heart, that is what they would want us to do.

i am grateful:

• for the family that gathered at our house for thanksgiving
• for a weekend spent gsd { gettin' shit done }
• for getting patio furniture tucked away before the temps dropped and the snow fell
• for a loving tribe
• for leftovers!

just breathing isn't living!

sincerely,